When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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