woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
