Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
