i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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