Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
