I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
