Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
