Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
