Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
