I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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