Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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