yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
