Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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