the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
