he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
