Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Enjoy the penises
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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