My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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