In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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