Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
