the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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