How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
