sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
