I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
