Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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