But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
