butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
