So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
