i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
