And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
