he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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