I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
