He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize