So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
