My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize