he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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