I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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