That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
