Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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