Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
