I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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