what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
