i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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