I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm at about main and main street
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
