i can't believe i had my finger in that
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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