I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
