But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
