Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
