So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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