But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
