Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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