Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
