That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
