as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize