This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
