It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
we're making bets on your personal life
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
