Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
