I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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