Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
