My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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