i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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