It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
