If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
